Chairs caused me a great deal of anxiety when I was at my heaviest…hell, they still do, but, thankfully, not nearly as much as a year ago. When I walked into a room, I assessed the situation. I looked at the seating options and decided what chair would be best for me to use. Sometimes I stood behind the chair and wiggled it to see if the legs were loose. I became nervous when I saw a skinny legged choice.
I remember one time I met a friend for lunch. We walked from her house to a nearby restaurant. It was summer and she told me about the great deck area this place had overlooking the river. It sounds fabulous, right??? WRONG! As we entered the deck area, the first thing I noticed were the chairs. They were those flimsy, aluminum frame things with the cheap, plastic faux-weaving seats and backs. A flash of fear hit me. How the hell was I going to get through this meal? I was terrified that the chair would collapse under me. I asked my friend if maybe we should sit inside, but she insisted on the deck. The wait staff showed us to our table. I took a deep breath, pulled out the chair, and sat. I could feel the strain on the joints of the chair as I settled in.
Not only was the chair fragile, but it was tiny. My rear end didn’t really fit. I felt myself sweating. I glanced over at my friend who, by this time, was fully aware of my chair dilemma. She apologized profusely. I was embarrassed…and I thankfully had to use the restroom. I excused myself to the ladies’ room. When I returned, there was a wood framed chair in place. My friend had asked the staff to switch out my old chair for this sturdier alternative. I was so grateful and mortified at the same time. Now I felt like I stuck out, however at least I could enjoy my time with my dear friend without the worry that I may end up embarrassing myself further.
Chairs that I was once “afraid” to sit in for fear of breaking them, I find I’m comfortable with them these days. Everyone knows the POÄNG chair from Ikea, right (see photo above…that’s the POÄNG)? Another friend has several of these chairs. For many months I avoided them like the plague. One day the subject came up as to why I didn’t use one of the POÄNG chairs. I confided that I wasn’t comfortable sitting in them due to the fact I was afraid I would break them. Thankfully I am able to sit in these oh-so-comfy chairs now. The only thought I have about using them is, “Wow, I can’t believe a few months ago I was so uncomfortable sitting in this!” The relief I feel is so freeing!